Every year, I find myself moving further away from living a “conventional” life, and 2025 took that energy to the next level. It was the year that I lost everything I knew and fully embraced my free-spirited self.

To start, I really hated 2025. I wanted to rip it apart with my own hands because it was so incredibly difficult. I’ve never had a year be so cruel to me- okay, wait, that’s not true, 2012 still takes the crown as my worst year. 2025 was the Year of the Snake, and in snake fashion, it came with shedding. And damn, did I shed last year; so much that I feel naked now…not literally ofc.

I lost my grandma, ended friendships, walked away from two jobs, and so much more. I ended karmic cycles I’ve been engaging with for the past decade. I let go of what no longer served me anymore, even if that meant going all in on myself without fully knowing what’s next.

Every month felt like a challenge from the universe to test my limits. To see at what point I will finally break and say “enough is enough.” I was crashing out every week. Honestly, it was exhausting to be crying about the same situation over and over again. Especially when I realized that it was because I allowed myself to stay in those situations. It felt like a deja vu nightmare.

2025 forced me to redefine everything on my own terms. How I showed up to family, what my relationship with work looks like, who I wanted to be friends with, and what self-sabotage habits I needed to let go of. Turns out being honest with yourself is really fucking uncomfortable.

I had to sit with myself and say out loud:

”I’m not happy right now, and I need to leave.” This happened multiple times. Back to back.

The universe is always nudging us.

It will keep pinging us through trials. It’s only up to us if we want to pay attention to the signals or not. So yeah, in short, I fucked around and found out. Then I decided I was tired of riding on the Jenny Ferris Wheel of Self-Sabotage. I got off the ride determined to become a woman who embodies discernment.

In short, this is how my 2025 went. First work trip to Utah. Grandma in the emergency room. First performance review. Grandma passes away. Burnt out. Disassociated. Food poisoning in Chicago. Still burnt out so I’m going to work more to avoid my grief. Physically disassociating. Working 40+ hours. Worked full-time and freelance. No social life. Cry in car. Grandma’s funeral. Back to work. Internal changes. Team restructures. Cry in the parking lot. I’m the only designer left in my company. Burnt out again. Interview for new job while working 40+ hours. Cry before I sleep. Decided not to switch jobs yet. Ended a 15 year friendship. Cry cry cry cry cry. Takes PTO, goes to NYC for a week and have so much fun yay! Back to work. Ads. Ads. Ads. Emails. Emails. Emails. Summer Sale. 25% Off. On repeat. New product launches. I think I’m burnt out so let’s apply for jobs again. Interview like crazy. Accept new job. Gives myself 5 days in between old and new job (?). Start new job. Flat tire x2. Goes to NYC for a sublet. Hip pain. Bad hip pain. Leaves NYC sublet early. Flies home. BFCM hell. BUY ONE GET ONE FREE. SIGN UP FOR BFCM PRE-SALE. On repeat. Burnout, is this like the 10th burnout now? Panic attack. Panic ATTACK. Crying to my mom. Needs mom to hug me to feel better. Ok. Medical leave. Role terminated. Taiwan with mom. Skip holiday events to spend alone with my dog because my mental and physical health was at an all-time low, not depressed like I don’t wanna be here low but I have zero capacity, energetic-wise, low. But ya know happy New Year, let’s go 2026!!!!! :)

I apologize if reading that was a headache. It was inspired by the spam chain emails I used to send to my friends back in 2007.

Though it took me all year to finally hit the brakes, I did it at the very end of 2025. For the first time in my life, I decided to pause and take a step back. All I wanted was to take time off to rest and feel like myself again. That’s where I’m at today. Even though 2025 shook my external world upside down and basically ripped my external world apart, I was able to have so many favorites through the year because I’m a lovergirl at heart.

One thing about me is that no matter how hard something is, I can’t give up easily. My mom didn’t raise a quitter; in fact, she raised a hard-headed go-getter (not glamorizing this because this is a toxic trait of mine).

I learned how to transform the pain I feel into my creativity.

Now I’m fully in my spiritual anti-patriarchy woke and radicalized era, where all I want to do is keep learning and creating art. Instead of recapping the atrocities of 2025, I want to share everything that I loved instead!

Welcome to Jenny’s Favorites of 2025:

me walking the brooklyn bridge during sunset <3

#1 Favorite Words I wrote

These are two snippets from poems that I wrote last year. The more pain I felt, the more I picked up my pen to write. I love writing so much because it allows me to express everything in my mind. I also have an overwhelming amount of thoughts and ideas; if I don’t give them an outlet, I will go crazy. I’ve been journaling since the 5th grade, and I recently decided that I wanted to take my writing more seriously.

I want to write more poetry and, hopefully, one day be a published author. Not for fame or money, but

I want to become someone who can create art that makes people feel comforted.

I want them to feel inspired after reading what I write. Or to appreciate life more after watching a video I made. I want people to love each other more. That’s a big long-term goal of mine, and basically the kind of legacy I want to leave behind…

#2 Favorite Outfit

When I’m too busy surviving, my fashion sense is the last thing I want to worry about. Ideally, I’d have a fashion sense that radiates “this is Jenny!” I want someone to look at a piece and say, “Jenny would wear that.” I’m not completely happy with my fashion style because I have a specific vision for it. I want my wardrobe to be curated to the point that each piece holds meaning. I want my outfits to reflect the different layers of my personality. Comforting, loyal, fun, bold, creative, one-of-a-kind, and full of love for life. But for now, I prioritize comfort over anything. I was NOT experimental with my fashion style last year, but this was my favorite outfit I wore. It’s peak-me because I can wear this outfit out to any occasion. Whether it’s out shopping, getting brunch, or praying at the temple.

#3 Favorite Albums

I need to make a separate post about this because I have too much to say. To keep it short, I’m a pop girl until the end of time. It doesn’t matter the language, I LOVE POP MUSIC. Hannah Montana, Trish Thuy Trang, and Hacken Lee raised me- I can’t deny my roots ok!

And look, I’ve been a K-pop girl since 2011. I listen to a lot of K-pop because I like keeping up with the releases. I do have my favorite groups, so unfortunately, my Top Albums and Top Songs are always biased. However, last year’s albums were all 10/10 masterpieces. Major chef’s kiss. I can praise each album up and down so much. Jennie killed it with her debut album. Tate McRae won me over. Mark and Haechan….well, strong duo is their nickname for a reason. NCT Dream is my absolute fav fav fave, and their 5th studio album, Go Back To The Future, was everything and more. My czennie heart was so happy last year, ncity my city.

*kiss of life - scandals aside, they always put out good music too T.T*

#4 Favorite Songs

This was SO hard for me to choose because I had so many favorite songs from last year. I could have based this list on my top 10 songs of 2025 from Spotify, but no, I wanted to intentionally pick out my favorite songs without looking at any stats. I listen to a lot of music in a year, just because a song is the most repeated doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my favorite. These are my top 7 favorite songs of 2025, in this specific order. Starting the playlist with one of the most addictive pop songs I’ve ever heard, to slow ballads that feel like diary entries, while squeezing a viral Chinese TikTok song in the middle, and finally closing out with another pop banger — yeah, this is a perfectly curated playlist.

#5 Favorite Physical Projects

This is one of my favorite categories and probably what I’m most proud of. Physical creative projects are something I want to explore more in 2026. As someone who works on a laptop 24/7, the experience of using my hands to make things physically was super healing. I loved challenging myself creatively.

The first project was very meaningful for me because I repurposed one of my grandma’s old shirts into a vest with my friend. It was my first time using a sewing machine properly. Shoutout to Achara, she did most of the work! The second project is a risograph zine that I made at a zine class I took with a friend. The theme of the zine was my big six, aka The Big 6 placements in astrology. It was my first time seeing a risograph printer, and it was so fun learning about the process.

#6 Favorite Book

I thought about this book for days after finishing it. I hope they can turn this book into a movie one day. The themes of this book are so relevant to where we are with late-stage capitalism in America right now. I loved this book so much. I loved how much it made me think!!!!! I truly couldn’t predict any part of it either. And the world-building was so creative. This book truly left me speechless.

#7 Favorite (rewatched) Movie

This is one of my all-time favorite movies. I will always rewatch this movie. I have a very special relationship to New York City (where this movie was filmed), and I also have a big thing for karmic relationships. I’ve met quite a few people who I would call soulmates and/or twin flames. Even though we may never cross paths again, they’ve already left a big mark on my heart.

There is a grief to outgrowing yourself and the relationships you were once in. I miss old versions of me, of them, and of us.

I think Past Lives perfectly encapsulates these feelings so well. Not to mention, the cinematography of this film is so beautiful.

*I chose the Japanese release poster because it’s way more aesthetic!*

#8 Favorite Concert

I watched over 10 concerts last year, and hands down, Tate McRae took the #1 spot, beating out my beloved NCT Dream. I saw quite a lineup of concerts last year, from BlackPink to aespa to XG and more. However, Tate McRae blew me away and left me leaving Climate Pledge Arena with my jaw fully dropped. She is one of the most talented female pop stars in this Gen Z popstar era. There’s always a debate around who is currently the best pop girl, whether it’s Sabrina, Charli, or Chappell. Well, for me it’s Tate. Her dance background adds a next-level flavor to her performances. From the setlist, to the production, band, and dancers— I didn’t have a single critique. This woman danced and sang live the whole show. How does one move her body like that??? Anyway, it was so so fun. I will definitely catch her on her next tour.

#9 Favorite Place To Cry

Ok, this may be kind of niche lol. I cry all the time. Whether I like it or not, I have always been full of tears. Water sign things…I am someone who prefers to cry privately, all by myself. Especially when I am going -THROUGH- it. I’ve been running away from my emotions my whole life. It wasn’t until 2021-2022 that I really started to face them head-on.

Last year, I really forced myself to learn how to sit with my feelings. By that I mean, fully feeling it in my body.

One of the best ways for me to do this is to park my car at the lake, put on a playlist, and then cry as loud as I want. Sometimes I will be in my car for hours doing that. I let the pain come up, I feel it in my chest and throat, and then I breathe as it flows through me. I let the tears do their thing, and I remind myself that my pain deserves recognition, too.

I’ve been feeling this heavy generational sadness my whole life. Sometimes, I really don’t know what to do with all of this pain. Especially when the pain feels bigger than me, too, as if it were passed down to me. Instead of constantly letting it consume me, I try to cry often for release. There’s no better place to do it than in the safety of my car. Though I usually only come out when I’m having a crash-out moment (an emotional breakdown)…it’s still the safest way for me to come down from it. Without any judgment or pressure from anyone to feel differently, I can permit myself to truly feel shitty.

#10 My Favorite Struggle of The Year

Ok, I know, it’s kind of weird to have a favorite struggle, but this is my attempt at reframing pain because it is essential to human life.

Without pain, we wouldn’t be here. Instead of seeing pain as a negative thing, I want to become someone who can master her pain by transforming it into wisdom and art.

2025 was THE definition of pain for me; there was always something hitting the fucking fan, excuse my language. I did not have a single break last year. It was so atrocious that the only way I could summarize it was to give my pain its own category. Of all the struggles I went through, there had to be one that I could write about lightly, right? Yes, so here it is. Please laugh at me, because I love this story.

My favorite struggle was when I went to see NCT 127 in Chicago. I was running a really high fever and throwing up 10 hours before my 8AM flight. I caught food poisoning from PCC’s chili. I was so livid. Of all days, why was I sick the night before a morning flight???

I was so close to copping out because I was sweating in my sleep. But I woke up and decided I was going to go to the airport and see how I feel. I told myself I could back out at any moment. I wanted to see how far I could go in that condition. As I said, I’m very stubborn and sometimes too ambitious for my own good.

I kept testing my limit. I hopped on the flight, nauseous, but made it to Chicago. I drank Gatorade, had potato wedges, and somehow made it to Allstate Arena. It was madness. Oh, I forgot to mention, I had front row seats in my section. I couldn’t give these tickets up. So seeing how far I could go led me to Chicago, where I watched the show, and then I proceeded to yak right after the show. I cut my trip short and flew home early. I was crying at the airport while texting my best friend (image below). I was so upset that this solo weekend trip of mine was ruined. This was something I’d been planning for months. But the universe had other plans, I guess.

I came home, and I was bedridden for a week. I would never do something like this again. This story is a true testament of how dedicated I am to seeing live music because I didn’t want to give up my front-row seat tickets. But was it really worth flying with nausea? Truly debatable. No regrets, though. I will always think back to lying on the floor at the O’Hare airport because I was so sick and desperate to be home ASAP.

This trip was a reminder that I am someone who can do anything that she puts her mind to. EXCEPT, it shouldn’t come at the cost of my health. This is definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. NCT 127, do y’all see the lengths I went to to see you guys??????? How loyal and dedicated I was?????? SM better send ALL OF NCITY to Seattle next time.

As I was designing these graphics, I was surprised by how many favorites I had out of a year I hated so much. Because of how much I want to say, I had to split it into two parts. This concludes part 1 of my 2025 favorites :)

My 2025 Favorites part 1